Challenges of Connecting in Relationships
It is known that the world’s youngest generation of adults now face a unique set of challenges when it comes to building and maintaining relationships. In general, social media and technology has completely changed the way humans interact and communicate. The increased presence of social media and technology are directly impacting the ability of Millennials to connect in relationships as well. While in this day and age new connections and communities have been formed through the use of technology, it has also created obstacles and increased difficulty in building and maintaining relationships due to modern social constructs like hookup culture, communication habits, and “hot takes”.
Hookup culture is defined as the increase and acceptance of casual sexual encounters, without emotional intimacy or commitment. This originated in Western college culture and has trickled into emerging adults and millennials in Western society. With the help of dating apps and websites, casual sex is now more accessible than ever, and many young adults have become more accustomed to hookup culture rather than traditional courtship and dating.
Technology today has played a huge role in the communication habits of millennials. In the age of smartphones and social media, humans have the ability to stay connected 24/7. Messaging apps have introduced features like read receipts and typing indicators, that have increased the obligation and expectation that you should reply to a message as soon as you get it. This expectation has contributed to the difficulty in building and maintaining relationships in the sense that it has created a false narrative that says “If this person likes me, they would respond quicker” as opposed to traditional ways of communication including in-person visits, letters, and phone calls.
As millennials, we have all heard those dating ‘hot takes”. They are meant to attract attention and create dialogue on social media, but in today’s society a lot of relationship standards come from these hot takes. For example, there is the infamous ‘Who should pay for the first date” hot take. While most people from previous generations would have a pretty unanimous opinion on the topic, there are millennial men who believe a wide array of things when it comes to this topic. This has created a heated dialogue online, and an increased amount of disagreements on millennial dates when the bill comes around. Situations like this make dating for millennials difficult and could otherwise have been avoided if traditional dating and courtship methods were not constantly up for discussion online, or expectations were laid out beforehand. This generation now has access to more information than any generation that has come before them. While there are so many ways to connect with others and build community online, things like societal norms, gender roles, even traditional relationship expectations have been called into question by millennials. These days, millennials are seeking guidance now more than ever on how to navigate successful relationships with all of these new societal pressures. This is where I come in, to introduce 5 things to consider when forming deeper, healthier relationships. Have you ever considered how important the following concepts are to forming healthier relationships?
Have you heard of the term Boundaries? – Do you know what your boundaries are? Many people navigate their life without boundaries. When you are clear and direct about your own needs there is less room for misunderstanding. You are also showing yourself respect by adhering to your values in the relationship.
How important is listening? - There is an awesome term I learned called Active Listening that is defined as a way of listening and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding. Understanding the point of view of your partner can encourage deep conversations, connections, and relationships. What does active listening look like to you?
Relationship Goals? Why would relationships have goals? Have you considered how goals would impact your relationships? This is a good way to map out what you want your lives to look like now that you have connected with this person. Ask yourself questions like what role does this person have in my life? Do they contribute to my elevation and success?
Everyone has Expectations for their life. Have you ever thought about expectations for a relationship? This can be a helpful way of managing the challenges that society may project onto your relationship. Consider developing views on the relationship, question and redefine what a successful relationship looks like to you. What does it look like?
Have you heard of Emotional Intelligence? – Emotional Intelligence is defined as the capacity to be aware of, control and express one’s emotions (Psychiatria Danubina, 31(Suppl 3), 568–573). Why would that be important in a relationship? As a millennial, it is easy to place emphasis on traditional indicators of success such as jobs, income status or societal status. I encourage you to reflect on how emotional intelligence could enhance your life and relationships.
Interested in ways to practice and implement these 5 concepts. Feel free to check out our CHR home page, we look forward to connecting with you!